Sunday, July 10, 2011

curiousity killed the cait.

I love my life.
I mean, yea, there are things I want in my life,
& there are things I want gone from my life.
But, overall, hell yea.
Maybe its all this lime, but fuck it.
Oh, & Im On One.

This weed tastes like fabric softener.
But im blitzed, so its cooo (:
Everyones smiling. We're stoooopid when we're gone.You cant blame us.
When you put a skateboarder, a rapper, a milf, & caitchronic in one room, with a bag of smoke, & a 80's mystery movie on tv, you're bound to laugh your balls off.

I wish I had an answer for every question I ever had.
How many people really believe that its possible to stay friends with your ex?
Of 3 years? That was drenched in more emotions than you ever knew existed?
Should I even be saying this?
I dont give half a fuck.

I think im typing just to remember how I was feeling.
Cause ive had a lot of them lately.
Feelings, that is. Mixed feelings.
And those are the worst.
Especially when its a mixture of your hearts feelings, & your heads feelings.
& I dont know which one to listen to.

It crazy how one person can control every emotion you have.
I guess you can always tell how much you love someone by how much they can hurt you.
Or how much you can hurt each other.
Another thing I hate, is how many things can remind you of that person.
Even if its somethin' dumb as fuck,
like a certain type of socks.
Or a roadsign you use to pass all the time when you were ridin' with them somewhere.
Or being with them every holiday, & pretty much everyday for years,
& then not havin' them around the next year around that time, it feels so different.
& sometimes its not a 'feeling alone' thing, cause im always surrounded by people,
but more of a 'what should I do' or 'how should I feel' thing.

Crazy, how you could've dated 100 different people,
but not have even felt anything close to what you felt with that one person.
Honestly im just ready to be happy.
But what if the only relationship youve ever been happy in,
has rollarcoaster-with-no-seatbelts emotions? Should you keep looking, or fix it?
What if its not fixable?
f u c k l o v e

I need to get off this subject.
I dont where this is comin' from.
I never open up. well, barely.
Actually, its scary how much ive been thinking like a guy.
I guess you could say im focused on me right now. Im glad tho.
Im pretty satisfied with myself right now. In the whole aspect of my being.
I can't help it. im addicted to bad things.
& bad boys with good weed.
Its because I chase thrills.
Is it bad that I think ridin' around town slingin' bud with your boyfriend is fun?
not only that, but sexy.
yeah, Im that bitch.
So dominant, Im just lookin' for a guy to put me in my place.

I want someone who Walks the Walk.
Someone actually on my level.
Someone who's not afraid of anything.
Someone who's gonna roll L's while im rollin J's.
Someone who's as open minded as me.
Someone who's gonna give me butterflies.
I want someone thats different from every other guy.
& Im gonna stay single until that happens.

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