Tuesday, December 4, 2012

on my own again .

tuesday december 4th 2012 .

what do you kno , I moved out lastnight .
honestly, i just couldnt take being taken for granted by my own family .
especially being pregant , i really couldnt take the stress .
im living in the Met with g-money .
idk how long its gonna last , but its just to have a break from the bullshit .
i just miss my baby :/
but i know nothings gonna stop us from being together , we're a family now .
i miss bubbie & rillo too lol . my poor puppies .
its good to have a lot of time to myself tho ,
and hopefully i'll start online school soon so i can finally get my fuckin shit together before my babylove comes .
you know , things have been so different since i got pregant ,
i dont really deal with bullshit anymore .
and i've realied how fuckin fake people are .
like people ive been friends with for yearsss dont even come around anymore & im fine with that honestly .
i'd rather be completely alone than be surrounded by fake ass people .


Monday, December 3, 2012

Yelp ... Here it is .

November 30th , 2012
I know i havent blogged in forever now ... but i think this should make up for it .
I often think about how fast my life has changed ... From the time I was 16 all the way until now (being 20 going on 21 ) has just flashed by my eyes ... From living in fairfax , to fox run , to Dales , back to fox run , to grandma Mickie's , back to fox run , to the paddock club , to the summit , to Sam st , and now to watts hill .... It's been crazy . I can't say that I regret anything that happened along the way but I can say I've learned a lot , & grew up tremendously . The last 4-5 years have been the most hectic , crazy , hilariously fun , scary , and beyond emotional years of my life . At 16 I had my first real relationship , one I never thought would never end , but lasted on and off for over 3 years . Those years were some of the craziests times ive had , from dropping out of high school to getting caught shoplifting multiple times . In between those 'breaks' and break ups with that guy I was an emotional wreck , trying to keep my mind occupied and trying my best to stay busy and have fun . It didn't always turn out to be good wholesome fun . After the breakup , I experienced my first one night stand which made me feel disgusting . I experienced a lot of drinking , smoking , and pills ...pointless sex with pointless people... Partying with stranger-like people and putting myself in near death situations . Looking back I think ... How could Ive been that naive ?
After The craziness , Ofcourse I tried dating again ... I just couldn't connect with anyone on the level that I wanted to , so nothing lasted over 2 months - if that . I became the girl that didn't really care about anyone . I'd cheat & lie to whoever I was with at the time , it just felt like a fake relationship to me , nothing was meaningful in my eyes .
I guess you could say things have mellowed out since then . This past year (2012) has probably been the best year of my life . 6 months ago around may , I started dating the guy I'm with now . I've known him since I was 17 & always kinda had a crush on him . He was like family at first , always over at my house spending the night , recording songs , getting high & making me laugh my ass off . Even though he's 3 years younger than me , I haven't loved someone this much in a very long time . A little over 3 months ago , we found out we were having a baby which was a huge shock because I thought I couldn't have kids . Seeing our baby wave and move on the ultrasound monitor and looking up at my boyfriends excited & shocked face was probably the happiest moment I've had so far . In my life I've already experienced so much but I know it's only the beginning ... In five more years I could be in a different state , with all different people , who knows . I'm just thankful that I'm where I am right now , with the people I have - even if I only have a couple people by my side now .

Friday, January 20, 2012

Sippin' on rossi , Chillin with my posse .

January 20th . 

So a lot has happened recently , 
I know I haven't been blogging lately , but really alottt of shit has been happening .

 Well in a nutshell , Fuck #oomph , I'm done with him . 
He wants me for sex & to be able to say that he's dating me. 
& he's fucking this uglyyy bitch that works at seven sense just to get free spice. 
He's fucking addicted , it's pathetic . He's all like 
"I wish it as you every time . Your all I want , I just wish you understood the situation ." 
I understand your clinically addicted to spice , get help .
 I told him we weren't fucking anymore , even though I'm still in love with his dumbass . 
He was trying so hard to get me to give it up .

 Until I told him I got my tongue pierced . He was pissed . 
Like every time I do something sexy to myself , he turns into the bigggest hater . 
Smh . I don't need that . I need someone who's gonna wana improve with me . 
But I've been like 'fuck guys' lately , straight up . These few months ,
 I've slowly noticed one by one that guys are all liars . Some guys are scheme-ful  , some are gold diggers , 
some are like actors . It's like the guys that wana be with you , you don't wana be with & the guys you wana be with don't wana settle down , they just wana keep you as a side Sex toy . 
Hah , fuck that noise . & wassup with guys & they're baby mama's ? Smh . 
But guys are JUST like bitches . 
My dog Chloe's gone missing . 
So I'm super depressed about that bullshit . 

On top of that , we've got less than a month to find another place to live . 
our landlords are racists bitches . They act like we move weight over here or something . 
Just cause I always have a lotta people in & out . 
But I mean , we also have a lotta people that live here . 
My moms bf moved in a couple months ago . 
& my bestest bith Erica & her bf moved into chandlers room .
I couldn't be happier havin' her here , but idk how long it's gonna last .
Her bf keeps bumpin' heads with everyone it seems like . 
& it's stressing me out 'cause I know if he bounces , 
then Erica is gonna follow right behind him .
if someone is so quick to up & leave over small bullshit , then obviously they don't love you as much as you love them .
Anyways , last weekend was fun as fuck .
I got a fake ID , & went to Group Therapy with my girls .
It was great being able to go straight up to the bar & say "Washington Apple please ." lmao . 

I was so drunk by the end of that night , I was practically fucking on the dance floor 
& this old lady told me to get a room . lmao
She was like dress up in a church dress tights & her old ass husband had a suit & tie on . 
I'm like wtf ? Gtfo bitch . Lol hadda blast tho . 
Met some new girls Rachel & Heather , & they're cool as fuck. 
& I got to chill with my regular famfriends Brandi & Jenn .  Love them (: 

As for the holidays ,
christmas was alright .
lost a homeboy over some bulllshit , but thats life .
win some , lose many .

new years I went downtown for the famously hot new years bash ,
I was actually with a new guy on new years ,
but things didn't work out lol .

well , I got company so i gotta wrap this shit up .
Deucesssss . 

Friday, November 18, 2011

5-0 got me pissed off .

November 19th 2011 . 

I know i haven't been blogging lately .
but i've been a bad girl , 
& a lotttt of shit has happened . 
I've got some friends over right now , so i'm gonna be short .
Everything's happened from,  me almost fighting this bitch 'cause 
I was meetin' up with this guy who she use to fuck . 
but i had no idea about her . 
Plus she knew he was meeting me there , & they aint even ina relationship . 
she kept callin' me a bitch , like screamin' that shit like a physco , 
everyone was lookin' at her like she was fuckin' crazyy . 
like , sorry bitch obviously you aint nothin' special . 
& that's exactly what i told her . lol . 
she shutup after that shit . 
Also , yesterday morning , 
I was awoken from a knock on the door . 
about 8 cops swarmed my house . 
I can't say who . 
but they were looking for someone , &
 they thought they were hiding at my house . 
all last night , i had cops watching my house , 
a cop that had been at at house yesterday morning saw me 
going to Jlove's house , & followed me there . 
when I picked up chandler & Jlove from school , 
the Major was at my house with two other guys in suits .
to try to ask me more things . 
they pissed my mom off really bad , 
to the point were she wanted to sue them for taking advantage of me . 
they really pushed me to the point were I was crying
on multiple occasions . they never believed me 
when I told them I didn't know anything . 
luckily , the person they were looking for turned there-self in this morning . 
I'm just ready for this to be over . 
fuck bein' around cops . 

It's been cold as fuck lately . 
like seriously . 
but it's beautiful outside with all the leaves changing & shit . 
it's weird to think that this time last time last year , 
I spent it all with #oomph . thanksgiving , christmas , new years , 
all of it , up until may . fuck may .  

but really, i've been closer with my family than ever . 

Jlove pretty much lives here . lol . he's like the other bro i never had . 
I'm so protective over that kid . 
Oh , & how about todayyyy , 
I fuckin' backed into a muhfuckin' tree . 
oh welll . 

well , it's 2:22 am . 
I haven't really gotten a lotta sleep lately . 
soooo im ouut . 

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Joints I flick , Bong raps I kick .

October 10th . 

So I just finished my first rap with Jlove .
I'm fucking excited AF .
I recorded it ONCE , & killed it . didn't even need to re-record anything . 

i've had atleast 10 people ask me to get on a track with them .

I mean , i've been writing raps for years , but Just had enough balls to record .
I picked Jlove up from school , & he was just like
"Today , You're Doing this shit . So , dont even say no ."
& it came out fucking great .
I havnt had butterflies like this since I found out what love an orgasm was .
& this just shows me , I don't need a guy , I can do this on my own .
It's being happy . & I'm in love with this shit .

My advice for everyone out there ,
fuckkkk what people say . 

soo... Here it is... (:
( Sounds BEST with headphones . )

There's more to come in the near future ;)

whattup famm ? (:

October 8th .
Welll , I'm on the way to dad's new gf's house .

Idk if I'm gonna like her or not .
The only thing I kno about her is that she's an attorney,
she's got 3 houses , she can drink , & she's blonde .
We map quested her house , & when dad said she lives on the beach...she lives ON the beach
...lucky bitch .
I'm just ready for tonite . We're doin' the octoberfest thing .
There's gonna be over 20,000 people , they even closed ocean boulevard for this .
Dads got us all VIP passes too(:
Gah I'm so fuckn bored , I didn't even get super baked ,
Just buzzed :/
& we're gonna be driving for a lil' whileee .
Well I'm at the festival . It's poppin' .
Drunk people everywhere, dancing there balls off .
I'm tipsy AF .
Thank Allah for spell check . Lmao

Okay , so I've had a jello shot , & two beers .
I'm sorry but I'm shwasted .

later onnn-
It's like one big huge house party . 
Thank god we're VIP , it's not all cramped up where we are . 
I've been getting free beer all night  :)
Dancing people everywhere .
& I've been dancing . Usually , I only dance dirty . Lmao

The only thing that could make this better is if I was stoned.
Too bad i smoked all my weed before i left Gmoney's crib .

I can't Stop laughin' at all the drunk who think they got rhythm . Lmao
Sidenote- all the girls here have like nooo ass .
It's so disappointing . bahaha
Otherwise, great night on ocean boulevard .

I dont give a fuck what anyone sees .
It's official ,
 my mouth is numb & I can't see straight . Im shwasted.

Maybe I'm TOO drunk ....I just told dad I blocked him on facebook . LMAO .

Ive never drank so much in my life .
Im tryin' to sober up .
KB (dads gf) is goin to get me a shrimp basket . Whoooo(:

So she came back 20 min later , drunker, with no shrimp basket . Whatta broad .
Me & Gmoney just walked on the beach , I've never walked on the beach shwasted ,
I actually fell in the sand trying to take my shoes off ,
 the sand was so soft . (:
^ me & dad after the festival, on our way back to kb's house .
driftin' downtownnn. top DOWN .

Next mornin' -

Boutta go get breakfast with the fam .
Didn't wanna get outta this huge bed ,
it's sooo comfortable .
Shouldn't of drank so much last nite.
But if your VIP & you've got no rules ,Then why not get slammered?
(dads new fiance' , ended up being the shiiiit . for a bitch who's got everything,
she's down to earth . )

greattt weeekend . <3

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Please excuse my rebellious soul .

September 28th . 

Today's just been one crazy hazy dream . 

I blame it on the pain pills , truly .

I know I shouldn't have... 
I mean I wouldn't have... 
If I didn't crave love so much .
...#oomph came over today . 
We actually spent the whole day together . 
Just smokin' , laughin' , wrestin' & cuddlin' . 
Finally a cuddle session. <3 
...& of course my sheets are bein' washed right now. Smh 
As much as I don't wanna care , 
I care too much & I'm always gonna . 
The first cut is the deepest 
... & it obviously leaves a scar . 

Plus my moms gon' be like 'what da fuck' when she finds out 
... She'll find out when she reads this . 
I Love you ma dukes . <3 lol

I got to see my BrandiBoo today too (: 
I owe her one .
 Seriously , I needed that pick-me-up . 
& plus she found me a legit sack . I'm boutta go pick it up. 
I love that girl , She's the shit . 
& I honestly feel like I can come to her about anything 
& kno I'm never gonna be judged . 
We just so open in this fam. Lol

Damn , my fingers are glidin' across the keyboard . 
Smh - I'm on one three . 
 I be forgettin' n shit lately .  
Forreal , I got over 90 unread messages on facebook . 
& I knooo, I got an ass of unread texts.  
I'm slippin' lol . 
Also , Pmoe ... Pmoe got f l o w.
His new mixtape just dropped a couple days ago . 
& y'all needa check 'em out .
to download his mixtape click right churrr .
its truthhh . 
& then Add 'em on facebookk .
I shouldn't have smoked any spice today . 
Dave's not here , is just not for me . 
I Tripp testicles . 
Like , not a crackhead trip , but an emotional , cry-baby Trip . 
It just makes me think a lot . 
I needa just stick to the herbal . 


& yes mr.CudBud,  I blew you off breh . 
'What goes around , comes around like a hoolahoop' nigha . 
& you gon' learn that you can't get it when you want it . 
It's the other way around . (; 

Later on ....
So I'm at my usual gas station . 
my ma's puttin' air in the tires . 
Atta girl . 
Just picked up my sack from mah girrrl. 
I'm lifted blowed . 
& we just smoked a single J . 
I'm so happy , All smiles .

P.S - I hate when fuckbags don't cut off their brights . 
You fxckin' blind me .


I'm outttt . Busyy day tomorrow . 
ima be geeked up , & blunted the whole time tho . 
smh ...

Gucci mane ft yelawolf - Wanna Party